Okay so I talk a good game!

So I haven't done so well since yesterday. I still have a positive attitude though and I still believe the same thing, I just haven't conformed yet. Believing the truth will set me free I am not going to pretend I'm adhering to the standards I wish to conform to. I will admit failure.

Instead of having egg of my face, I'd rather have zebra! The psychologist asked me why I hadn't succeeded with my goals as of yet and I said to him, "Because when I fail, I give up the fight."

I guess Einsteing, Ben Franklin and othe great inventors had thousands of failures, but they never gave up so they finally succeeded. I'm not giving up either. Yesterday is now the past and I can't do anything about the past, I can only look at today and control what happens in my present moment. I'm not angry, or disappointed, I'm just learning from yesterday's lack of vigilence. I believe I need to reinforce my goals, my wants and needs and then keep on the straight and narrow path.

Still nothing from my daughter. I send another e-mail asking in the subject line, "Are you enjoying ignoring me?" It's hurtful and that's what she wants. She's sure stubborn. I don't know where she could have gotten that from.

Fall is upon us. I just opened my window and it's only 63 degrees out midday. That's glorious to me! I love the fall, with the bright blue sky and the leaves turning their bright and bold colors of orange, yellow and red. I do love it. Apples! It's time for the apples to be picked! A trip to the apple farm will have to happen soon because apples are good for you always. Eat as many of them that you want! An apple a day keeps the doctor away! I love going to the apple farm. This year though, I'll leave the apple doughnuts at the farm.

Football! It's back - fall has football and cheerleaders and crisp cold air - I just love it. I love turtlenecks and sweaters and jackets and fall leather shoes. I love the browns and the blacks, the burnt oranges and the reds they make fall clothes from. I love the wool skirts and the fight between Ohio State and Michigan. There is nothing like a hike in the woods in the fall or a picnic in the forest. The fall smells so good. The leaves have their own scent as they fall and dampen on the ground. Halloween is upon us as well. I just love the fall.

But just as I love the fall, I love the spring with it's more numerous to count colors of green. Everything growing around me. I can't grow plants in my house, but I love seeing the buds on the trees and everything growing in nature.

Then summer and winter. I love them all for different reasons. When I lived in Florida for 13 years, I cried because I missed the seasons. I loved the ocean, don't get me wrong. The ocean is my absolute favorite and I took advantage of being there, always going to the beach, bringing my babies there and introducing them to the peace and tranquility of the water. I'd nurse them while I stood in the water, facing out to the open ocean, waist deep in water so they'd float as they nursed. But I wanted to be back in the north with the seasons. I was raised with them and I missed them so much.

I'm not trying to evade the first topic of the day. I just opened my window to see what the temperature was outside and it got me side tracked. It's wonderful out. The kids are at school and the grandkids are visiting today. Their daddy is at a golf tournament. Toys are everywhere in my living room. I was dreaming of babysitting two little asian girls. They were beautiful, but the house I was living in was the house I grew up in which has been torn down now. It was in New Hampshire. Something is missing in my life now because the house I spent the most time in growing up isn't there anymore. It doesn't even look like the same lot. They cut down all the pine trees. Why would someone do that?

Back to the original topic. I think that today to reinforce the importance of self talk in self help I will write an article about it. I must be ever vigilent about my eating habits in changing them. I must continue to think out each choice, every decision I make so that in the end I win the prize! This is what I am striving for. The princess knows she will marry her prince because she had been born with those words on her lips and in her heart and in her mind. She says them over and over again until it happens. She isn't worried or surprised, she just knows it will happen.

I'll think about the words I choose even after the article is written so that I keep the meaning close to me. I will win! I will fight a good fight! I will meet my goals. I have faith that the Lord will stand by me and help me when I am weak.